Date: October 24 - November 22
Image: A leaf falls gently to the ground.
Message: Alcohol is fine in moderation, but get too autumnal and you'll fall gently to the ground like the leaf mentioned above, you thick fuck.
A big astrological adventure begins tomorrow. Make sure you're astrologically 'match fit' as hurdles have been placed at five-week intervals for the rest of your life. Avoid strangers, and under no circumstances give them your address. Remember, if people want to know where you live they can simply follow you home. Your lucky Egghead is Kevin. Your lucky sandwich is toasted. Your lucky characteristics are jealousy and weakness. Expect news of a joyful event in a local newspaper. You will be at your best during the hours of darkness, and between the ages of 4 and 5. Your personal Wiccan Jazz spell is: "Pish Pish Earth Mother Bap Ga-Dap Wabbeda Wabbeda Pish Pish Celtic Herb Posey Bap Bap Widdly Widdly Tish".