- from the north of the heart
  • New brand development idea: MONETISE HUMILITY.
  • Remember - send chocs, flowers etc to tragic mums of murdered kids.
  • Smell of Mensch at select committee - Proustian Thatchermusk!
  • “Hot Button Issues”? “Young Puffy Nipples”? SAME THING.
  • Plasticine union dinosaurs biting each other’s fucking heads off ha ha HAAA!
  • Hillsborough. Lesson learned. Not ALL football fans piss on corpses. BRIBE MORE RELIABLE COPPERS.
  • The BBC is spoiling my competitive market and should be painlessly terminated, like 'M' off the boat that time.
  • Two Childhood Friends. 1: Self-Belief. 2: 'Abo'.
  • Innocently foraging in a nation's guts for two generations, like good cancer.
  • Destroy Anglican Church, public sector, Twitter, elitism, compassion, trust and my fucking nemesis Rolf Harris.
  • Getting darker...doubts passing across my sky-mind like lowering clouds...

Your Stars from Mars - from the north of the heart


Date: October 24 - November 22

Image: A leaf falls gently to the ground.

Message: Alcohol is fine in moderation, but get too autumnal and you'll fall gently to the ground like the leaf mentioned above, you thick fuck.

A big astrological adventure begins tomorrow. Make sure you're astrologically 'match fit' as hurdles have been placed at five-week intervals for the rest of your life. Avoid strangers, and under no circumstances give them your address. Remember, if people want to know where you live they can simply follow you home. Your lucky Egghead is Kevin. Your lucky sandwich is toasted. Your lucky characteristics are jealousy and weakness. Expect news of a joyful event in a local newspaper. You will be at your best during the hours of darkness, and between the ages of 4 and 5. Your personal Wiccan Jazz spell is: "Pish Pish Earth Mother Bap Ga-Dap Wabbeda Wabbeda Pish Pish Celtic Herb Posey Bap Bap Widdly Widdly Tish".