Church moving to non-egg future South Korean scientists have cloned 30 Roman Catholic Cardinal embryos to create cells they hope could one day be used to defeat Satan. Seoul National University's Dr. Mel Gibson and colleagues took the genetic material from normal cells in unnamed donor prelates, then combined it with their ectoplasm. According to Judaeo-Christian sources the 30 samples were baptised, enrolled into the Brownies and told to stay where they were and multiply. In time, it is hoped each will produce a new form of apostolic stem cell host which can be taken orally. Already, one of the samples has been made a Brown Owl. The superhost propagates 'smart DNA' using the sinner's biological code library, allowing the good news of Jesus Christ and to a lesser extent the Virgin Mary to be absorbed by all body tissues, regardless of colour. Dr. Gibson and his team say cell research could produce a therapeutic tool to defeat a range of disorders - such as osteoarthritis, Parkinson's disease and other 'Papal Ailments' - and Auschwitz. His Holiness Pope John Paul (2) blessed the assembled plasma cardinals, praising God for being omnipotent and also for being pluripotent, in Latin. Those plasma cardinals in full.
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