Regime repair customer satisfaction survey

 

How swiftly did our operatives respond to your problem?

Very swiftly. No sooner had I reported a fault with the regime than operatives turned up on my doorstep.
 Quite swiftly, although I was expecting them the day before and had stayed in specially.
Not swiftly at all. I have put up with years of poor performance after an earlier botched repair.

 

Are you satisfied with the way our operatives dealt with the problem?

 Very satisfied. My favourite bit was the statue being pulled over. 
 Quite satisfied. They certainly seemed to know what they were doing, though they did leave a mess in my kitchen.
 Not satisfied. I have now been shot by Russian gangsters for not paying my Reconstruction Tax.

 

Were you treated courteously and professionally?

 Yes, at all times. And filmed.
 Average. I had to ask permission to go to the toilet.
 No. I was beaten with shoes, which should only be used to beat servants, theives and prostitutes. Even my children are beaten with a stick - never shoes!

 

Please tell us about your overall impression.

 Very good - light blue, with piping at the collar.
 Too much cleavage on Al Jazeera.  
 Starfish, face down.

 

How did you learn about us?

 Leaflet drop.
From my ancestors.
 Free AOL trial.