Juno    January 21 - February 19                                     back

 

Image: Clogged artery.
Message: Drink more neat spirit.

Circulate widely, wearing a size 18 if necessary. There will be moments in the year which will be pleasant, though not especially profitable. Resist the impulses of machinery, unless nobody's looking. You may be delighted with an unexpected present, or a random chirping noise. Prepare for unsolveable manslaughter on BBC3. Envying a cartoon character's power of invisibility is a waste of your imagination, so get a fucking grip. You are able to make progress in all fields. Time to coax down the pussy from the tree, and remember to take an aspirin just before retiring. On the font horizon: Haettenschweiler. Love yourself not for what you are, but not for what you're not either. Good luck!