Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Veal Brothel Visited On A British Legion Trip To The First World War Graves
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here on The Backbeat You Can't Lose It, with a really fucking long Guitar Solo by Eric Clapton, to sort out your Problems.
Unless you're Coloured, in which case there's Fuck All I Can Do, is there?
People ask me why No Riots in Wigan so far. Because up here we live in a Multi Racial Society. What does that mean, Nobby, I hear you ask, you thick fuck.
It simply means there are Plenty of Racial Folk here, so Our Asian Friends have to keep their Heads down. It's their Fucking Fault - they don't integrate. In My Book, you Immigrate, you Integrate. Common Fucking Sense.
How many Fucking Asian Karaokes have you been to? Me either! Can't carry a Tune in A Fucking Bucket, any of them.
Mention Race, of course, and the Gayboys are never far behind. Them and the Fucking French. And Cunts from Birmingham, which is One Big Outside Fucking Toilet full of Dickheads in Bobble Hats with the Mental Age of a Kiddie. Don't get me Started on the Fucking French.
No, DO get me started. Now I'm not one of Them Who Says All Frogs are All Gay, even though The Lads Kiss Each Other and birds don't shave their Legs.
Can't be ALL gay, otherwise where would those Arsey Little French Fucks you sometimes see on a School Trip to Wigan Pier, showing off their Little Tits and pretending not to see your Cock, even when you're Waving It Around, come from?
Let's not Lose Sight of Common Fucking Sense. The French will Shag anything, particularly Farm Animals. Widescreen Stan went to a Veal Brothel once on a British Legion Trip to the First World War Graves. Not much to look at, he said, but Twats like Four Pounds Of Tripe, so just like Home!
Fucking Doctors. No Way was I going to have that so-called Diagnosis I got Last Week. First, Doctor was a Fucking Teenager. Second, he was Asian. Third, 'he' was a Fucking GIRL!
Memo to Tony Blair and his NHS pansies: look up Doctor in the Dictionary. I Think You'll Find it doesn't say anything about Yoghourt or Fucking Repeats Of Inspector Morse.
Mostly pies and overcast here. Obviously at my age I'm starting to Slow Down a bit, but I Am Not Having It that I've got Alzheimer's, let alone the Bad Results of my Arse Biopsy, which In My Opinion, which I'd back on Common Sense Grounds Alone, prove Nothing.
Kemo Therapy? More Gay Lone Ranger Bollocks! What next - FUCKING VILLAGE PEOPLE?
Why do I Pay my Lottery? So Some Cunt in a White Coat can Ponce Around like Fucking Quincy MD? JUST GET RID OF THE LUMP IN MY FUCKING ARSE!
Mostly pies and overcast here.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
