Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Biological Warfare Germs Become Too Heavy And Fall Harmlessly To The Ground
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, welcoming you to my Wigan Common Fucking Sense Casino And War Against Terrorism.
I may be Old. I may have so-called Cancer. I may be on Pills that turn the World Into A Jumble of Words and Horrible Fucking Dolls With Their Eyes Missing. But at least I still have so-called Alzheimer's on Top Of That!
In this World of Changes, it's as well to Remind Ourselves of What We Won't Fucking Stand For. These are the Types of People who are Barred Out of my Wigan Casino. If Common Sense offends, please Clear Off Now:
· Student.
· Queer and/or Gay.
· Not from The North.
· Look like Fucking Jesus, or Cat Stevens.
· Under 18, Unless Dirty Cow.
· Non-Smoker.
· In Wheelchair or Mental.
· Lesbian, unless I can Watch.
· Vegetarian (see above).
. Funny Colour.
Still no Sign of the Lump in my Arse either Going Down or Coming To A Head. Why the Fuck they can't just give me Antibiotics and an Arse-Size Corn Plaster I Do Not Know, instead of the so-called Cancer pills.
Holy War? Holy Fucking War? Who the Fuck Gets to Win a Holy Fucking War, even though it may Destroy a Large Part of London.
Bad News, however: this will persuade Folk to move North, where the Natural Dampness in the Air means Biological Warfare Germs Become Too Heavy And Fall Harmlessly To The Ground.
I'm not one for Stirring Things Up, but shouldn't we be Random-Testing Folk for Muslim, maybe with some sort of Breathalyser? If you Test Positive, it's In the Fucking Bin Laden for you, lad, my arse hurts.
All I'm saying, It Pays To Be Vigilant.
Many Doctors are Asian. For all we know, they might be Planning some sort of Stunt like the Lad Shipman.
Many Cab Drivers are Asian. Again - Watch Out! A 10 year-old Toyota with a Full Tank of Fuel is just like a Guided Fucking Missile if driven into a Chip Shop.
My advice, don't believe Anything on Channel 4. The other Night someone was saying you can catch Mad Cow Disease off Burgers!
What next - Fucking AIDS off Black Pudding?
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
