Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Halloween Kiddies Done Up Like Tarts
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here, feeling the way I always feel when Clocks go back: Good Idea in Theory like, but still Darker.
Hallowe'en. Fucking American bollocks. Hello Neighbour's Little Girl, going Door to Door and done up like a tart, more like. And they blame 'Us' for so-called Child Pornography!
It's just Begging in Costume. But in this Mad Fucking World where Common Sense Has No Place you don't see Salvation Army around like they used to be.
Them or 'New Christy Minstrels'. They weren't Sing Something Simple - Stop That Fucking Thought right there, boss - as Sing Something Simple were The Mike Sammes Singers.
Fucking Accordions. Sound of them scares me, to be honest with you. They sound like Liver when it's Gone Off. I mean - Fucking Sick.
Every Cunt you'll ever see Playing the Accordion, they've always got on these like Tights, or like stupid Fucking Half-Trousers, and noncey Shirts like it's Gay Night At the Islam Restaurant Bar and Fucking Grill.
Doctors Pleased this Week, though not AS Pleased as Last. Keeping an Eye on Recurrence of So-Called Cancer. Progress with swearing: one fucking day at a time, Sweet Fucking Jesus.
Sense of things Returning to Normal, if you can say that Anything is Normal in this Day and Age. Widescreen Stan told me they'd banned Bonfire Night in France in case anyone got Frightened off the Sparks.
Lil, three doors down. 100 years ago this week her daughter's son's son's daughter's son was killed in Afghanistan, just 16. Part of some Fucking Bollocks up the Khyber Pass, as Londoners say. They're not All Bad.
Guy Fawkes, Quartered Poor Bastard. For what? For so-called trying to Blow Up Houses of Parliament. He might have been Catholic, I don't know, I'm not a Fucking Mobile Library.
At least that Farmer with the Shotgun got Justice, and before you Start, I mean with a Capital J. Obviously, the Dead Lad only got 'justice' as he was unfortunately still below the Legal Driving Age at the time of death.
Which, though Folk keep saying he deserved to die, I'm not so sure, as he were Only a Lad who might have Settled Down if given a Chance.
The Farmer's Friends looked like Cunts, though I think they had the Right Idea, which is to Look Forward to a Happy Ending.
I hope that's been of some Help. Cheerio!
