Nobby the Northern Dinosaur
Only Three Lesbians In 1964
Hello! You all right? Nobby the Northern Dinosaur here. Sound, Boss.
Being in a Coma obviously has its Downside. No Telly, except stuff that's stuck in your head i.e mostly Repeats. No news of Outside World, just bits you overhear from nurses, mostly Christmas and the War in Rhodesia or wherever it is, Africa.
I'm not convinced Harold Fucking Wilson's right. I understand the business with the black people (bit thick, good workers) but would it not be fairer to share things out a bit, so the black people had most of it? Only there seems to be more of them than you'd think, and there are the Kiddies to think of.
I just can't get it out of my Head, like that old song by Flanagan and Allen:
Toraborabora toraborabora,
tura lie-ay.
Any Umberellas, any Umberellas
unfolding today.
Na na na-na...
Though to be honest with you, Flanagan and Allen were complete fucking Shite now I think. If only we'd said: 'Lads! You're a National Institution, but your Songs and that, it's all fucking Kiddy Bollocks. Youse two! Fucking arm in arm everywhere, girls' Coats and stupid Hats on and you sing like a pair of Cunts. Fuck off and let the drummer go...' Then perhaps the whole course of the War might have been different and we wouldn't have had to go in with the French.
It is a Fact that Music has got worse and worse since the 1930s, when they DID know how to write a stiff one. It's all a Fucking Blur. One day there's Kate Bush dancing around with her Pantyhose pulled over her Tits and the Crotch ripped out, then suddenly there's Fat Black Lads with their Faces screwed up doing Bookie Signals and giving me a Right Earful even though I haven't Fucking Said Anything! OK, the odd so-called racist Remark, but the World was a Different Place in the 1960s.
Lesbians. Go on, how many - in Britain, in 1964? Give up? Three. Three. And all three of them were in the same fucking Film! I saw it! Nowadays they do it just for the Mischief.
Folk think being in a Coma is just a long Sleep. Well it's fucking not. Half the time you think you're awake, then remember you're in a Fucking Coma. The other half you're asleep and dreaming In The Coma. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered earlier today that the Incident with Christine Hamilton had not only been a Dream, but that I can't tell anyone.
Some Kiddies came round the Wards earlier singing Christmas Carols. Say what you like, belting Tunes. At this time of Year it can get really dark for Old Folk, particularly those of us in a Coma. Things like that, Little Town of Bethlehem and that, they give you Hope. Be out of here soon, back on Feet, draw a line under the Cancer and move on.
I heard one of nurses say to check the shunt, as I seemed to be leaking again, though not downstairs this time. It's a bit like a grotto in here, maybe I should put up some coloured lights.
I hope that's been of some help. Cheerio!
