@TheoreticalGod 

10COMMANDMENTS.01 Pay no attention to other gods on Twitter. I am @TheoreticalGod and do not require a fucking Verified Account. I'm GOD.

10COMMANDMENTS.02 Do not worship 'idols' or 'legends'. When you do this you let Me down. And you let your theoretical fucking selves down.

10COMMANDMENTS.03 Do not mistype the name of the Lord your God, i.e ME @TheoreticalGod. I am sick of your FUCKING MISTAKES.

10COMMANDMENTS.04 Have a fuck-off Sabbath once a week, on Me. 'Bloggers' 'diahorrheists' 'cumpertators' and 'twitfucks' give it a rest, too.

10COMMANDMENTS.05 Love your parents, gay or straight. Makes no fucking difference to Me, frankly. It's the '&' that counts. SHITBRAINS.

10COMMANDMENTS.06 Do not murder anyone. That’s fucking basic.

10COMMANDMENTS.07 Adultery. Oh YOU decide. You’re 'not idiots'. But a) I'm saving it all to Hard Drive, b) guilt-fucking you in the head.

10COMMANDMENTS.08 Do not steal from ONE ANOTHER, fuckpods. I smile upon benefit fraud, shoplifting, online piracy and nationalisation.

10COMMANDMENTS.09 Do not bear False Witness, Prime Suspect, Kavanagh QC or ANY FUCKING THING that’s on in the afternoon.

10COMMANDMENTS.10 Love it but don’t covet. That’s all I’m fucking saying. I’m @Theoretical God, you’ve been real. *Heavenly Jazzfingers*